Friday, April 1, 2011

Where She Went by Gayle Forman [2011]


In the three years since the tragic accident Mia barely survived in If I Stay, she and high school ex-boyfriend Adam have lived separate lives on opposite coasts. But then Adam, now the dissatisfied front man of popular LA-based band Collateral Damage, stops over in New York City for one night before kicking off the European leg of his tour. It happens to be the same evening that Mia, now well on her way to becoming a renowned cellist, is performing at Carnegie Hall. Adam buys a ticket, planning to slip in and out, but Mia spots him and for the first time in years they’re face-to-face with each other and their shared past. Over the course of one evening, as Adam and Mia traverse the city's streets, they relive the four days Mia spent in the intensive care unit as well as her departure to Juilliard and from the life she knew. Emotionally raw and incredibly moving, Gayle Forman again showcases her considerable talent for drawing complex characters who face impossible decisions and then bear the consequences. Equally as compelling as If I Stay, Where She Went is powerful, heartbreaking, and everything fans of Mia, Adam, and Forman could hope for.

Author: Gayle Forman
Genre: Young Adult
Publisher: Dutton Juvenile (April 5, 2011)
Media type: Hardcover, Kindle, Audio Book
Pages: 208 pages
ISBN-13: 978-0525422945
Preceded by: If I Stay

Reader Review



Three years ago, Mia Hall was in a serious car accident that killed her family and left her struggling to decide whether there was enough here on earth to keep her here. But that was Mia's story, Where She Went, is Adam's story. Adam was Mia's boyfriend who was there through it all and begging her to stay. But now, she is gone. Off to Julliard to study the cello, while Adam is now a full-fledged rock God.

And with all rock stars comes baggage. Adam is suffering from anxiety, has a temper that would shame the Gallagher brothers and smokes like a chimney stack. He has the typical California movie star girlfriend, but he's not happy.

A chance encounter brings Adam face to face with Mia and what happens to the both of them since she left will leave most readers breathless and in tears.

If I Stay ended with the reader not knowing what decision Mia made, but you know how and why she did what she did. Leaving Adam was probably the hardest thing she could do, and it all but destroyed him. He locked himself away, he wrote music that became the biggest album of his career, but it still wasn't enough to help he get over Mia.

The lyrics that open each chapter made me wish that there really was an album called Collateral Damage. Which is exactly what Adam is feeling. He's become collateral damage to Mia's desire to stay alive. Watching him navigate the roads of NYC and realize how much he didn't know was brilliant. When it comes to Mia, Adam doesn't seem know a lot.

Gayle Forman really made me feel and want to help Adam, and reading the lyrics made me realize how I've felt like that in my lifetime. How sometimes we get so caught up in other people's lives that what eventually happens is we all become collateral damage. I bawled like a baby with the first book, but I was ready for this one. And I still cried. I fell in love with Adam all over again.

- by Laura's Review Bookshelf

22 Britannia Road by Amanda Hodgkinson [2011]

22 Britannia Road by Amanda Hodgkinson


In her powerful debut, Hodgkinson takes on the tale of a family desperately trying to put itself back together after WWII. Silvana and Janusz have only been married a few months when the war forces them apart. Silvana and their infant son, Aurek, leave Poland and disappear into the forests of Eastern Europe, where they bear witness to German atrocities. Meanwhile Janusz, the sole survivor of his slaughtered military unit, flees to France. There, he takes up with a local girl and, though he loves her, awaits the war's end so that he can go in search of his wife and son. He eventually finds them in a refugee camp and they travel to England together, where they attempt to put the past behind them. But the secrets they carry pull at the threads of their fragile peace. Hodgkinson alternates viewpoints to relay the story of three desperate characters, skillfully toggling between the war and its aftermath with wonderfully descriptive prose that pulls the reader into a sweeping tale of survival and redemption.

Author: Amanda Hodgkinson
Genre: Novel
Publisher: Pamela Dorman Books
Media type: Hardcover
Pages: 336 pp
ISBN-13: 978-0670022632
Published date: 28th April [UK], 1st May 2011 [US].

Reader Review

“War had been winter all the way, years of Decembers and Januaries. Peacetime was meant to be summer …”

Those are the thoughts of Janusz Novak when his dream of the perfect English life for his family begins to unravel around him.

Amanda Hodgkinson is a remarkable writer who has written a remarkable novel. Closing the final page, through blurry eyes and with a lump in my throat, I realised that I’d become more than just a reader. I’d become a character, immersed totally in the story of Janusz, Silvana and Aurek. From their beginnings in pre-war Warsaw to their final destination at 22, Britannia Road – and every step of their tumultuous journey in between.

We follow separate threads as Janusz and Silvana are separated during the German invasion of Poland. Neither of them take a normal path through the war years, and the author doesn’t hold back from the gritty reality of their lives. But survive the war they do, in very different ways. But fate brings them back together, and both are eager in their own ways of burying the past and moving onto a new life together in England.

What we discover in this book is that nothing can ever be taken for granted. Peace time does not mean instant happiness, being together does not make a family, and hidden secrets can never remain hidden forever.

22, Britannia Road is a wonderful book by a gifted author, whose writing style and voice is unique and beautiful. It’s hard to believe this book is a debut novel.

 It will sit on your bookshelf for many years, watching over your life like an old friend, ready to offer you escape and solace in your dark days, or warmth and companionship through good times.

The book demands the reader consider a new perspective on both the fragility of life and the strength of the human spirit, and just what people will endure to survive. The story and the characters in these pages will stay with you for a very long time in the way only great writing can do.

If you think you’ve read every type of war story there is, you haven’t. Not until you’ve read 22, Britannia Road.

Released in UK 28th April, and US 1st May 2011.

Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler [1940]

Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler

This splendid novel is set in the tumultuous Soviet Union of the 1930s during the treason trials. Rubashov, the protagonist and a hero of the revolution, is arrested and jailed for things he has not done, though there is much about the current Soviet state that veered from his ideals as a revolutionary. His investigators, Ivanov and Gletkin, seek a public confession and interrogate him using a number of methods. Through the ordeal, Rubashov reaches an epiphany or two while his interrogators suffer the cruel fate of the Soviet machine. Darkness at Noon succeeds as political/historical novel, but even more so as a refreshing tale of the human spirit.

Original title: Sonnenfinsternis
Author: Arthur Koestler
Genre: Novel
Publisher: Scribner
Media type: Paperback, Audio Book
Pages: 288 pp
ISBN-13: 978-1416540267
Publication date: 1940

Reader Review



Penalty is Death - Guilty of Political Divergencies

I first read Koestler's Darkness at Noon in high school, close to 30 years ago. Although I cannot recall my earlier reaction to the book, I am certain that I was not prepared, as a 17-year old, to appreciate either the literary beeauty or socio-political importance of Koestler's masterpiece.

I came back to this book for two reasons. I had just finished reading Volkogonov's "Stalin" and "Trotsky" and Solzhenitzyn's Red Wheel (Volume I). Darknesss at Noon seemed to be the next appropriate book to pick up off the shelf.

I had also been reading about the remarks President Clinton made (alluded to by other reviewers) to Sid Blumenthal indicating that he felt "like the prisoner in Darkness at Noon."

It is, perhaps, either a sad testament to human nature, or an indicia of the power of great literature, that the story of the fate of one (fictional) man, Rubashov, can feel more compelling than the narrative description (in "Stalin" and "Trotsky") of the fate of millions.

Further, whereas Volkogonov's works go a long way towards explaining what happened and how it happened, Rubashov's self-crticial analysis, and his dialogues with Ivanov and then Gletkin go a long way towards explaining why the purges happened. It helps explain the mindset of those many, like Rubashov, who confessed their non-existent sins before their ineveitable demise. It also goes a long way to explaing why so many millions of people actively participated in the denunciations that accompanied the purges and show trials.

Clinton's comparison to Rubashov is rich with unintended irony. Perhaps Clinton, like me, had not read the book since high school, and felt that Rubashov was the purely innocent victim of a prosecutorial system run amok. However, Koestler makes it clear that Rubashov was not merely a vicitim of Stalin, or Stalin's henchmen, but of the system that Rubashov (a hero of the revolution) himself played an important role in creating. Rubashov spent a life filled with deceit, manipulation, and even murder, on behalf of his party and its "core values". The doctrine of the end justifying the means was a cornersone of Rubashov's philosphy and morality. Whatever "core values" existed at the beginning of his revolutionary life with the party had long since withered to nothingness by the time of his imprisonment. Consequently, if President Clinton's comparison of himself to Rubashov was based upon the idea that Rubashov was a purely innocent victim, he is just wrong. To the extent Clinton was aware that Rubashov was in no small way responsible for creating the milieu under which this despicable actvity takes place - then he is more self-aware than I had previously given him credit for.

Finally, the book is just darn well-written. Of particular beauty and impact are Rubashov's dialues with his interrogators.

Pick up this book and read it.

- by Michael Wischmeyer




A classic

"The characters in this book are fictitious. The historical circumstances which determined their actions are real. The life of the man N. S. Rubashov is a synthesis of the lives of a number of men who were victims of the so-called Moscu Trials".That is part of the dedicatory that Koestler wrote for his book, "Darkness at noon".

Arthur Koestler (1905-1983) was a person that believed in the progress that Communism was supposed to bring, but that became disillusioned in the way in which that dream was being carried out in the URSS. He wrote many books that give expression to his feelings of disenchantment, but "Darkness at noon" is probably the most popular one.

Not overly long, and very easy to read, this book is the story of Rubashov, an old communist who took part in the revolution and who is very loyal to the "Cause". Strangely enough, he is accused of treason, and taken to jail, where he must face harsh interrogatories. While he is in jail, Rubashov experiences flashbacks that allow us to know more about him, and the things he did due to his devotion to the Party. He betrayed people he loved, and those he appreciated, for no other reason than obedience to the Party and fear of going to jail.

We can have an idea of Rubashov's feelings and ideas all throughout his ordeal thanks to the fact that "Darkness at noon" is written in the first person. After a while, we are Rubashov, and like him we are surprised, outraged, desperate and ultimately resigned to our luck.

In the beginning, Rubashov says that he isn't a traitor and that he hasn't done the things he is accused of. But slowly our main character starts to come to terms with the idea that the truth of the accusation isn't really important, what matters is to serve the country. And if the leader (Number one) says he is to be blamed, he must have done something....

The prisioner writes a diary, where he dwells upon the nature of men, and politics. He thinks that after the revolution he defended so passionately, an individual is defined merely as "a multitude of one million divided by one million". The individual doesn't matter because only the "Cause" matters. Regarding politics, he concludes that at the end only one thing is clear: "the end justifies the means". Is it any surprise, then, that the tone that pervades this book is so gloomy?.

On the whole, I highly recommend "Darkness at noon" to all of you, for two reasons. To start with, it is a literary masterpiece, beautifully written and accessible to the average reader. Secondly, and more important, it also shows us once again that every attempt to forget that the end doesn't justifies the means ends in a nightmare.

- by M. B. Alcat "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back"



Psychological Examination of Stalinist Show Trials

Set during the Stalinist purges and show trials, `Darkness at Noon' presents a fictionalized account of the interrogation and breaking of a (former) communist leader `Rubashov'. Under Stalin, 'former communists' were limited to those persons about to be executed, already executed, or waiting to be uncovered. As an original Bolshevik, a leader of the 1917 revolution, Rubashov's disillusionment was simply inadmissible to Number One (as Stalin is referred to by Koestler).

Koestler explores the journey of Rubashov from the knock at the door through the final denouement. The reader observes Rubashov, who plays the role of narrator, as he undergoes the psychological change from a determination to resist to nearly total capitulation. Rubashov manages to hold to some crumbs of self-respect, but yields to the logic of the revolution as more important than any individual even when the accusations are complete fabrications.

`Darkness at Noon' is precisely imagined with its details of Rubashov pacing the floor of his small isolation cell, the coded tapping between adjacent cells, and the deprivation of physical comforts that make the subsequent small graces, such as limited outdoor exercise, become precious by comparison. This much of the tale was informed by Rubashov's experiences as a prisoner during the Spanish Civil War. Koestler's examination of the psychological destruction of the prisoner is fascinating, although at times it briefly lapses into stultifying disquisitions on the distorted Stalinist political philosophy.

Koestler himself was a German communist through much of the 1930's before immigrating to Britain, leaving the party and becoming an influential ex-communist. George Orwell's excellent essay about Koestler is readily available on the Internet (google `arthur koestler orwell').

Darkness at Noon was the middle book of an unusual trilogy of loosely related subjects: Gladiators and Arrival and Departure (20th Century Classics). Readers may also wish examine Victor's Serge's The Case of Comrade Tulayev (New York Review Books Classics).

Highly recommended for anyone interested in the era of communism in its Stalinist form or more broadly in the perverse ability of humans to place greater meaning in abstract and abstruse ideology than in the actual lives of other humans.

- by Douglas S. Wood "Vicarious Life"

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Shadow And Claw by Gene Wolfe [1983]

Shadow And Claw by Gene Wolfe

One of the most acclaimed "science fantasies" ever, Gene Wolfe's The Book of the New Sun is a long, magical novel in four volumes. Shadow & Claw contains the first two: The Shadow of the Torturer and The Claw of the Conciliator, which respectively won the World Fantasy and Nebula Awards.

This is the first-person narrative of Severian, a lowly apprentice torturer blessed and cursed with a photographic memory, whose travels lead him through the marvels of far-future Urth, and who--as revealed near the beginning--eventually becomes his land's sole ruler or Autarch. On the surface it's a colorful story with all the classic ingredients: growing up, adventure, sex, betrayal, murder, exile, battle, monsters, and mysteries to be solved. (Only well into book 2 do we realize what saved Severian's life in chapter 1.) For lovers of literary allusions, they are plenty here: a Dickensian cemetery scene, a torture-engine from Kafka, a wonderful library out of Borges, and familiar fables changed by eons of retelling. Wolfe evokes a chilly sense of time's vastness, with an age-old, much-restored painting of a golden-visored "knight," really an astronaut standing on the moon, and an ancient citadel of metal towers, actually grounded spacecraft. Even the sun is senile and dying, and so Urth needs a new sun.

The Book of the New Sun is almost heartbreakingly good, full of riches and subtleties that improve with each rereading. It is Gene Wolfe's masterpiece.

Original title: The Book of the New Sun, Vols. I & II
Author: Gene Wolfe
Series: The Book of the New Sun
Genre: Science Fiction
Publisher: Orb Books
Media type: Paperback
Pages: 416 pp
ISBN-13: 978-0312890179
Followed by: Sword and Citadel
Publication date: 1983

Reader Review



I've read some of the reader reviews of "Shadow and Claw" and come to the conclusion that the book needs an introduction. Many of the negative reviews, I think, come from readers who weren't familiar with Gene Wolfe's writing style, which is understandable. So let me say for Wolfe that you cannot by any means read "The Book of the New Sun" the way you would ordinarily read a book. This mostly stems from the fact that the book is supposed to be an autobiography, and the writer, Severian, really can't be trusted to describe things accurately. A pretty good example would be the first woman Severian becomes interested in, Agia. He tells us that she was the most unattractive woman he has ever been attracted to. Fine, but the way that he becomes somewhat obsessed with her at a glance would suggest otherwise, and the way she treats him would account for his recalling her as being ugly. This is a minor example, to be sure, because it is a matter of Severian's perspective. There were other times in the book that I got the impression that Severian was telling flat-out lies. It's confusing, but it makes the book extremely interesting to read, simply because you are able to figure out much of what actually happened. Another thing to keep in mind, as somebody said in a quote on Wolfe's "The Fifth Head of Cerberus," (I forget who, and don't really care to find out, mostly because I'm lazy) is that Wolfe is "a master of the casual revelation." Which is to say that Severian will out of nowhere mention some vital piece of information, apparently assuming that we already knew about it. And we probably would know were we from his world, as he assumes we are. The only other thing to be aware of is the vocabulary, which thankfully is not nearly as difficult as people have described it. By and large, you won't have to look up the words being used simply because while you may not what an individual word means, you can infer it's meaning from the sentence it is used in. I started out looking up words constantly, and found that they mostly meant what I had already assumed they did. This is not to say that you shouldn't have a dictionary on hand, but looking up every word used that you don't know would be excessive. If all this sounds intimidating, I highly recommend that you read "Cerberus" which will give you a better handle on Wolfe's style. It's great book, and a good place to start if you are unfamiliar with Gene Wolfe. (If you do take my advice, it would be good to note that Severian's writing style is most similar to the first novella in "Cerberus.") The main thing I want to be clear on is that you shouldn't start reading this book expecting another "Lord of the Rings." While it can be argued that the "New Sun" series is of a similar calibur in terms of greatness, these are entirely different books. "LOTR" is an entertaining story, and you don't have to read into it at all. Everything you need to know is right there on the pages. The "New Sun" series is a bit more literary (Which sounds like a cultural elitist term, but I can't think of another one. Rest assured, I don't mean to belittle "LOTR" in any way, shape or form). If you're reading purely for an entertaining story, you would probably do well to look elsewhere.

- by Sean Hanley



Like thousands of teenagers, I came of age with *The Lord of the Rings*. The rather ugly Bakshi movie was the first one I went to see without my parents, and the novel was virtually the first one I ever read that was not a children's book, except for Jules Verne's *Mysterious Island*. Just like many Tolkien fans, I became a lifelong devotee of the fantasy genre, and explored the more promising of the other Middle-Earths, from Lankhmar to the Dark Shore, Lyonesse, Majipoor, Amber, Earthsea and the world of the Hyborean Age.

But of all the fantasy series I ever read, the only that ever compared to Tolkien's masterpiece in my opinion was Gene Wolfe's *New Urth* tetralogy. The others were fun, imaginative, full of action and adventure, but they either failed to maintain throughout the literary and spiritual power I had found in *The Lord of the Rings* or to equal the richness of its world-building.

Interestingly enough, however different Tolkien's and Wolfe's epics might be, they share two profound similarities. First, both were written by Catholics and infused with their author's faith. With Tolkien, all the trappings of religion are evacuated from the world itself while the story is saturated with religious symbolism. With Wolfe, on the contrary, Christianity is still very present but transformed, as if through layers and layers of rewriting, into a distant shadow of itself. There is only one God, Pancreator or Panjudicator ; an almost legendary «Conciliator» walked the earth eons ago and is still venerated by the order of the Pelerines ; and priests, rituals, sacred items and guilds abound, as in the Golden Age of Christianity.

The other similarity between the two sagas is the spiritual nature of their ultimate magical item. In *The Lord of the Rings*, the object is the ring itself, each successive use of which is a step on the path to damnation - conferring power on Earth in exchange for another fraction of the user's soul, as witnessed in the various states of spiritual decrepitude of those who have succumbed to the temptation. In *The Book of the New Sun*, the most powerful item is the Claw of the Conciliator - «the most valuable relic in existence», a gem that «performs miraculous cures... forgives injuries, raises the dead, draws new races of beings from the soil, purifies lust and so on. All the things [the Conciliator] is supposed to have done himself.»

In other words, Tolkien's ring is the Devil ; Wolfe's Claw is God : an interesting symmetry.

The texture of the two worlds, however, is very different. Middle Earth seems to be set in a distant past, barely threatened by the first premises of industrialization. Urth on the other hand is our own world millenia hence, a decaying planet waiting for a promised rebirth, frozen in some static medieval social order, incapable of producing any complex artefact except by magic, and borrowing fragments of more advanced technologies from its own past or from the mysterious hierodules, elusive offworlders who only have transactions with selected individuals on Urth and seem to be guiding the world's destiny in some occult fashion.

Tolkien was obviously not Wolfe's major influence. The world Severian, his first-person narrator, so entrancingly describes seems to be a mixture of Jack Vance's Dying Earth and Peake's Gormenghast, a labyrinthine urban world rather than an enchanted primeval setting, filled with Lovecraftian horrors and filtered through the literary sensibilities of an admirer of Jorge Luis Borges.

So if you know that you will not recapture the wonder of *The Lord of the Rings* by reading any of its countless rehashes, and are seeking for an original voice of comparable eloquence, the *New Sun* cycle is for you : open the gate to the necropolis, unsheathe *Terminus Est* and come drink the analeptic alzabo.

*Shadow and Claw* brings together in one volume the first two novels in the series, *The Shadow of the Torturer* and *The Claw of the Conciliator*. It is followed by *Sword and Citadel*, the conclusion of the original series, initially published in two volumes, and *Urth of the New Sun*, which I have not read yet. Wolfe further expanded the saga with the books of the Long Sun and Short Sun, comprising seven volumes so far. And readers who have fallen in love with his universe will also be interested in *The Castle of the Otter* (1983), a collection of essays he wrote on the *New Sun* cycle ; *Lexicon Urthus*, a New Sun encyclopedia ; and GURPS New Sun, the role playing game based on the series.

- by Jean-Francois Virey 



"Here I pause. If you wish to walk no farther with me, reader, I cannot blame you. It is no easy road."

So go the extremely memorable ending lines of both books contained in this one volume.

It seems to me that this is one of those books that people are either going to love or hate.

WHAT'S TO LOVE ABOUT IT:
The storyline is extremely refreshing--when was the last time you read a story from the torturer's point of view?
The books do indeed feel like you're reading literature and not something fluffy.
The characters are very interesting--not just the main character, Severian, but the supporting characters as well, like Agia, Jolenta, Jonas, Dr. Talos, Thecla and a handful of others.
The chapters are extremely short--usually about 5-6 pages long--which make for a quick read--although not always an easy one.
The plot in general is very different from your typical "formula fantasy".

WHAT MIGHT TURN YOU OFF: As I mentioned before, this book is like literature. If fantasy were more popular in the late 1800s/early 1900s, it would read somewhat similar to this. The pages probably won't be flying like that page-turner you took to the beach last summer.
There are lots of real words that are so seldom used as to falsely lead one to believe that they are fantasy words (e.g. Sabretache, which is actually a little pouch). The writing is not florid however.
However, there are also made-up words, usually for units of time and currency, and although there is an appendix, it is inconveniently at the back of the book.
Gene Wolfe's writing style can take some getting used to. There were a few times I had a hard time visualizing what was going on and had to reread a paragraph or page to figure things out.

OVERALL:
If you're up for a challenge, then I'd definitely give this series a try. If I had to rate the books individually, the first book I'd give 4/5 and the second I'd give 3.5/5. The first book is more linear and makes for an easier read, while the second is more complex and unconventional.

- by EMAN NEP

I Am J by Cris Beam [2011]

I Am J by Cris Beam

Growing up, J (born as Jennifer) always thought of himself as a boy stuck in the body of a girl. In elementary school J shunned his mom’s attempts to stick him in dresses and preferred the rough-and-tumble play of boys on the playground. Now, as a teenager, J’s Puerto Rican mother and Jewish father want him to think about his future and one day start a family, a possibility that makes J feel misunderstood and anxious about what lies ahead. So after an argument with his best friend, J strikes out on his own. He starts classes at a school for transgender and gay teens, but the complications resulting from who he is and who he wants to be prevent J from truly connecting with anyone. Fed up hiding inside layers of oversized t-shirts, J decides to explore testosterone treatments and embarks on a path that will test his patience, maturity, and commitment. Author Cris Beam’s extraordinary understanding of this often overlooked population shows in J--a complex, conflicted character whose emotional journey will resonate beyond the final page. Equally impressive is Beam’s vivid dialog, which illuminates relationships and situations that any teen who has felt isolated will easily relate to. Thoughtfully researched and written, I Am J is ultimately an inspiring novel about deciding to lead the life one is meant to--no matter at what cost.

Author: Cris Beam
Genre: Young Adult
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Media type: Hardcover, Kindle
Pages: 352 pp
ISBN-13: 978-0316053617
Publication date: 1 March 2011

Reader Review



I Am J is a moving look at a teenager's gender transition and coming of age. J has known he was meant to be a boy since he was little, but hasn't had a way to truly articulate that or figure out how to make it an actuality until the time this book takes place, when he's 17. He wants to share the news with his best friend, Melissa, but being a little bit in love with her, or at the very least, having a major crush, he has trouble expressing exactly what it is he's feeling. He is also just discovering the ways he can actually turn himself not just into a boy, but into a man, and he hits a lot of stumbling blocks along the way.

His family is one of the biggest stumbling blocks, and trying to stay close to them when they don't understand what he's going through is a theme that crops up throughout the book, something he continues to navigate. J starts to create a new "family" when he starts at a new school and starts to meet fellow transgender people. He meets Blue, one of the most fascinating characters in the book (and not just because she has blue hair and paints exclusively in shades of blue), who becomes his girlfriend.

I didn't always like everything J did, but I thought he was a fascinating character, and as he matures, he figures out how to have empathy for those around him, like Melissa, and seek out the help he needs to be the man he wants to be. He realizes that his transition is extremely important to him, but that photography is also his passion, and that entirely abandoning his previous life wasn't necessary to lead him on the path he needed to be. Beam doesn't try to paint J as the "perfect" trans teenager (is there such a thing?) but as a human one who is figuring out who he is, who his role models are, and where he fits in at school, home and in the world.

- by Rachel Kramer Bussel "Cupcakes Take the Cake blogger, author, editor"



I was a little scared of this book. I knew that Beam had it in her to realistically portray the transgender experience, so my expectations were super high. I also knew that a book like this has the potential to be filled with well-meaning stereotypes in order to present the most inclusive picture: of trans folk, of Puerto Rican New Yorkers, of the dream of being a "real boy," and more. But my fears were unfounded; I loved this book. J really rang true to me as a character and as a transguy, and his experiences, though not universal (thankfully not everyone has to move out or change schools in order to transition, though some undoubtedly do), were realistic. I Am J was everything I hoped it would be.

But I did have a couple of problems. I found it hard to believe that J, who has been looking around on the internet for information and support since he was eleven, hadn't heard about T (testosterone injections) or a (chest) binder until he was seventeen. I'm willing to let that go as it allows the reader to learn about these things at the same time that J does. I don't think it would have been such a problem if the book wasn't so obviously written by someone who, like J's support group leader, "talk[s] about the 'gender binary' and 'those of trans-masculine identification' as easily as reciting the alphabet" (243).* Beam is a very very knowledgeable woman, as evidenced by her previous work of non-fiction, Transparent: Love, Family, and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers. She seemed to have a difficult time balancing her wealth of knowledge with the naiveté of her narrator.

This may look like more criticisms than praise, but it's really not! I loved I Am J, and I applaud Beam for taking on the issue of transitioning in the context of cultural and familial expectations, and the fallout from not meeting those expectations, in an accessible and authentic way. Not to mention that she wrote a pretty great story of a teen trying to find his direction and place in the world, regardless of all the issues that J has to deal with. I think this is a must buy for libraries serving youth; it's Luna for the guys.

Book source: ARC provided by the publisher.

*Quotes and page numbers are from an uncorrected proof and may not match the published copy.

- by Lawral Wornek



I received an Advanced Reader's Copy of I Am J by Cris Beam. I did not receive any compensation for my review.

This is a very intense and engaging read about a bi-racial teen's gender transition. Beam's story provides great insight to life a transgender teen. This is an issue that prior to reading this book I did not know much about. Fortunately, as well as writing an engaging story, Beam also takes the time to explain the issues.

However, I was puzzled about why J, who has known since a small child that he is a boy born with girl parts, waited until he was 18 to seek support. All in all I found this to be well written, with well developed characters. Though the main story deals with J's life as a transgender teen, it also covers all the usual challenges of just being a teen - including difficulty getting a long with parents. J's parents are not very likable. Not only do they not understand J, they seem incapable of giving him any support. Perhaps this lends to the authenticity of the story, as teens are often misunderstood by their parents.

This is a good read for not only teens but parents as well. Not only is it entertaining, but it provides some valuable insight as well.

- by Beverly L. Archer "Booklady123"